


Spirit and Flesh

by flootzavut



Series: Swamp(y) Snogs [9]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Hawkeye Pierce, Bisexual Male Character, Drinking, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e01 Welcome to Korea, First Kiss, M/M, Mild Smut, Season/Series 04, Sharing a Bed, Swamp(y) Kisses, implied minor infidelity, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-24 22:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: "Hawk is either way too drunk for this situation or not nearly drunk enough."BJ arrives in Korea; Hawkeye really wasn't ready.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts).



> For aiding and abetting me ;D
> 
> You don't have to read the other PoV for this one to make sense, but they are complementary.

* * *

_**Spirit and Flesh** _

* * *

 

There's never going to be a time when Hawkeye takes a dressing-down from Frank Burns seriously, but with a new friend in tow and alcohol sloshing around his tonsils, it's even harder to give a damn. Maybe a quarter of the way through the probable length of Frank's attempted lecture, Hawkeye loops an arm under BJ's armpits, grabs his bag from the jeep, and half-guides, half-carries him off to the Swamp, leaving Frank spluttering and protesting in their wake.

BJ giggles. "Ferret Face! That's an affront to a noble rodent," he says.

Hawkeye likes this kid more and more. "You know, you're right. Ferrets don't deserve to be insulted by being compared with Frank. It might be too late, though. I don't know if we can train him to respond to a new name at this point." That makes BJ giggle even harder, and either Hawkeye is too drunk for this shit or it's very cute indeed. (Possibly both.) He's pretty sure he's screwed, and has been since BJ insulted Frank then fell over. But hey, he's survived worse.

BJ can more or less stand up by himself by the time they get inside, and Hawk dumps his bag and gestures vaguely towards the cot that BJ will be calling home. BJ nods and sits down - on Hawkeye's cot.

Hawkeye looks at him. BJ is sorta fuzzy, which means Hawk probably had enough alcohol that he'll sleep tonight. He sets himself down at BJ's side. "You okay?"

BJ nods, then shakes his head. "No, I'm not okay. I'm thousands of miles from home, I miss my wife, I miss my baby girl, I'm completely out of my depth, and all I have is you."

"Oh." God, was Hawkeye ever this young? He knows intellectually that BJ Hunnicutt is a qualified doctor in his late twenties, but he looks like a kid and so damn vulnerable, and Hawkeye wants to make it better, but where does he even start?

The only thing that would actually make it better would be if he could send BJ home, and even if he could, he isn't sure he would. BJ isn't Trapper John, but... he did good today. Hawk's impressed, and kind of interested (and maybe a little infatuated ever since BJ called Frank 'Ferret Face'  _to his actual face_  - Hawkeye still can't quite believe it). BJ may need him, but he definitely needs BJ if he's going to make it through this war now Trap's gone. Maybe that's selfish, but while he undoubtedly likes BJ a lot ( _really_  a lot), he's known this kid less than twelve hours. He may have a bit of a saviour complex, but he's not a total martyr.

He puts a hand on BJ's cheek, fights the alcoholic haze to summon up his most reassuring, most doctorly tone, and says, "Kid, you're gonna be just fine. I promise."

BJ looks up at him, and Hawkeye has been noticing vaguely all day but it suddenly hits him right between the eyes how goddamn pretty BJ is. Really, it's too bad he's married, and happily, judging by the way he talks about his wife and daughter. His wide, bright smile and blue eyes and California tan are not for Hawkeye. Only time will tell if they're available on a temporary basis, but Hawk doesn't think he's that lucky.

If Hawkeye were less drunk and less exhausted, he'd probably stop touching BJ's face about now, but after today, he can't bring himself to care. He even brushes his thumb along BJ's cheekbone, and whether it's drunkenness or what, BJ lets him, and Hawkeye struggles against the temptation to lean down and nibble on BJ's bottom lip. Hawk is either way too drunk for this situation or not nearly drunk enough.

"Need another belt?" he asks, and if it comes out sounding like the come on it very nearly is, well, who's counting?

BJ blinks a little, as if he's coming out of a daze, then nods. "Uh, yeah."

Hawkeye forces himself up and off the cot and away from BJ, and sways gently towards the still. "Martini?"

"You have gin?"

Hawkeye grins over his shoulder. "No, we have the next thing up from lighter fluid, but it works." He manages to get himself and two glasses back to the cot, which is a minor miracle.

BJ's first sip is tentative, and he winces. "Good God, what did you distil this from? Pure evil?"

Hawkeye almost tips over sideways laughing. "It's flavoured with essence of Frank Burns."

"That explains a lot." BJ takes another sip. "Does it get better or did my taste buds just commit suicide?"

"Bit of both."

They drink in companionable silence for a while. Hawkeye's doing his best not to overstep any boundaries, but when he gets up to fetch a refill then sits a little further from BJ on the cot, in an attempt to stop himself from doing anything too stupid, BJ gravitates in and closes the gap. It seems like he's not ready to let go of Hawkeye, and Hawk doesn't know if it's personal or if it's just that BJ's clinging to the one ally he has, but either way, Hawk has neither the energy nor the inclination to fight it.

"Hawkeye?" BJ asks eventually.

"Yeah?"

"How am I gonna get through this?"

Hawk sighs. He's all out of reassuring words - he could use a few himself - so he goes with simple honesty. "One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time."

"I feel like I've been here for months, not just one day."

Hawkeye can relate. His year here feels more like three. "Hey, kid. You'll be okay," he says, nudging his shoulder into BJ's. "You'll be all right. You have me, remember?"

BJ nods uncertainly and downs the last of his gin. "I feel as if home is just someplace I imagined to keep me going," he murmurs, and Hawkeye only hears it because they're sitting glued up against each other, like they'll both topple if they don't have someone else to lean on. Given how much alcohol they've had, that might be literally true.

Hawkeye gets rid of their glasses, then scrapes up a little coordination and takes hold of BJ's face, makes him look up.

"It'll be okay," he says again. "I've got you. I'll take care of you." It's just supposed to be reassurance, a friendly offer of support, but somehow it comes out sounding like a solemn promise, and Hawkeye thinks maybe he even means it. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good."

They're sitting way too close, and Hawkeye should definitely move away now. BJ is all big eyes and earnestly furrowed brow, and when Hawk runs a thumb gently over BJ's bottom lip, BJ swallows audibly.

There are a thousand and five ways this is a terrible idea, but since when did that ever stop Hawk doing anything? At least he can blame it on the alcohol, and keep to himself that he's wanted to do it since BJ backed up his ridiculous Corporal-Captain nonsense in the Kimpo O Club. All the warnings Hawkeye's been giving himself recede under the blowtorch of want and need and  _this will be my only chance_...

BJ gasps when their lips meet, and Hawkeye isn't sure if it's a good sound or not. He keeps it gentle and tender and light, then it's BJ leaning in and kissing harder. Hawkeye grins into the kiss and curls a hand around the back of BJ's neck to keep him close.

It turns out BJ's mouth is every bit as delicious as it looks, and Hawk lets out a little whimper which he will deny later if pressed. It's very possible BJ is thinking about his wife, but Hawkeye doesn't care. (Much.) Here and now, he gets to have BJ Hunnicutt's lips all to himself, and it's glorious.

He really didn't expect BJ to be so into it, so enthusiastic, and when they finally come up for air, it takes Hawk a second to blink his eyes open. He discovers BJ looking at him. Then BJ starts to laugh and so does Hawk, and Hawk kisses BJ again because he wants to know what that laugh feels like, and they tumble into a giggling, kissing pile on Hawkeye's cot, and who cares if this is the most foolish thing they could be doing? Hawkeye wraps his arms and legs around BJ as tightly as he can and loses himself completely in BJ's mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

Between alcohol and arousal, things get kind of blurry after that. When he wakes up the next morning with a steaming headache, Hawk remembers the taste of BJ's mouth and the way he shuddered when Hawk nibbled the corner of his jaw, he remembers thinking maybe they should do this when they were less drunk and could enjoy each other to the full, and he  _really_  remembers BJ's skin under his hands when he finally went for broke and tugged BJ's shirt out of his pants.

Things didn't go much further - Hawkeye isn't that much of a cad, and they were extremely drunk - but it was plenty enough to know he'll share a cot with BJ as often as he's allowed, though he suspects this is a one off.

BJ is still asleep and wrapped around Hawk in a way that's thoroughly enjoyable. If Hawk knew him a little better, he would have a lot of fun waking BJ up, but being willing to make out with Hawkeye when he was lonely and scared and falling over drunk isn't permission for early morning shenanigans. Maybe in a different situation, Hawkeye would shrug and risk it anyway, but BJ is his new lifeline in this place, and he doesn't want to foul that up before they even start.

Still, BJ is cute as all get out, and Hawk will enjoy being tangled up with him for as long as it lasts.

There's so much of him. He has to be sixty percent leg at least. Hawkeye takes the chance to stare while BJ is asleep. He doesn't look quite so young with his uniform dirty from the road and mussed from Hawkeye's wandering hands. Still gorgeous though, all warm and tan; Hawk can't quite stop himself from wondering if BJ is that golden and beautiful all over. Now there's a thought.

BJ's like an adorable retriever puppy who's been dropped into a nest of vipers, and Hawk wants to wrap him in cotton wool and keep him safe. And also wants to bite him. (In a good way.) Sharing living space with this guy is gonna give Hawkeye a whole bunch of delightful mental images for when he gets bored of imagining or remembering what the nurses look like naked.

Hawkeye can't resist snuggling up to him again, then doesn't even try to resist sucking gently at that tender little spot on BJ's jaw that made him go all mushy, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough that BJ squirms deliciously in his sleep and pulls Hawk in tighter. Hawkeye could seriously get used to this. It's too bad he's unlikely to get the chance.

 _No, it's a good thing_ , he tells himself with little conviction. He can't quite summon up strong feelings about it, but he knows it's the sensible option. Hawkeye never does permanent, he doesn't even do semi-permanent - he's been down that road before, thank you - so it's better if this is a casual bit of fun between two people who were too drunk to resist. And BJ's married, and there's good reason Hawkeye doesn't chase after married women. That should probably apply to married men, too.

Still, he nuzzles in and tries to memorise the taste and feel and smell of an armful of BJ, because beggars can't be choosers. Hawkeye isn't about to pass up the chance of a warm, kinda willing bedmate when one falls into his lap, or of the memories for nights when he's not so fortunate.

Eventually BJ starts to stir, and Hawkeye tries to unravel himself a little (BJ doesn't need to know just how hard Hawk's been clinging to him), but between the hangover and how cosy they've gotten, he doesn't actually want to move, even if maybe he should.

He doesn't expect BJ to whine in protest at Hawk pulling away, and he definitely doesn't expect BJ to find his lips again, and he's too surprised to stop it. BJ's mouth is just as enjoyable as Hawk remembers from last night, he's caught between 'oh God, this should not be happening' and 'this is probably my last chance and he's so pretty,' and while his brain is still struggling with that dilemma, his body just enjoys.

It doesn't last long, which is good. Really. Hawkeye's commitment to not crossing any serious lines is shaky at best and shouldn't be tested.

BJ is smiling as they surface, and he blinks his eyes open, and for a moment his expression is completely unguarded. Okay, maybe Hawk isn't the only queer little surgeon left in this camp.

Then BJ remembers where he is and who he's with and his face falls into a look of sheer horror. "Oh God. I - oh, God."

"Hey, fella," Hawk says, "it's okay."

BJ's eyes are full of dismay.

"Even if I wanted to, which I don't, it's not like I could rat you out without implicating myself," Hawkeye points out. "Breathe. It's all right." Hawkeye grabs his chin - he probably should quit with all the touching, but it's a bit late to worry about that now - and makes BJ meet his eyes. "It's okay, I promise. I'm on your side here."

BJ blinks again, once, twice, then the penny drops. He blushes and looks relieved at the same time, and Hawkeye decides to be a gent and not to mention the way BJ glances at Hawk's mouth and unconsciously licks his lips. Hawk is definitely not the only one in this particular boat, but BJ is married and Hawkeye's roommate for the foreseeable future, not to mention his brand spanking new life preserver. Much as part of him would like (would  _really_  like) to figure out exactly where the lines intersect between BJ's wedding vows, his loneliness and his attraction to Hawkeye, it would be stupid on so many levels to jump into anything.

"Oh," BJ manages at last.

Hawk gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile and pats his arm. "People do stupid things when there's booze involved," he says. "Not that I regret it, but I understand why you might never want to speak of it again."

"Okay," BJ breathes, and he even manages a tiny smile. "Thanks."

This guy is so adorable it hurts. It's too bad instinct says he's never going to be comfortable with casual intimacy. But maybe he can be a real friend, if Hawkeye resists the temptation to mess with him right now. "We were drunk and scared," he says. " _I'm_  not gonna tell anyone. I doubt you will either, right? We stick together here. You and I just have... another reason to have each other's backs. Okay?"

BJ lets out a long breath. "Okay." He shakes his head. "It kinda feels like I screwed up before I even started," he admits.

"Are you kidding? You had a hell of a day yesterday, but you got through it, then you called Frank 'Ferret Face'-" Hawk gestures wildly for emphasis "-listen, you did  _great_."

"Then I drunkenly made out with my brand new colleague."

"That was just a bonus," Hawk shoots back, giving BJ his best coy look.

It works; BJ is still blushing but he bursts out laughing again, his whole face alive with it. "So... we're okay?" he asks, once he gets his breath back.

"We're very okay."

"Okay. Thank God for that."

Neither of them moves. They lie there and stare at each other like some very weird game of chicken, and the thing is, Hawk knows he should kick BJ out of his bed, and he's sure BJ knows he should move, but neither of them does what he's supposed to.

Hawk would really like to revisit the kissing option, but it's foolish enough for them to be lying here on the same cot when anybody could barge into the tent at any moment, and that's not even including the whole happily-married-with-a-kid angle. He brushes his fingertips over BJ's cheek, which is something he absolutely should  _not_  do, and BJ's sharp intake of breath sucker punches him right in the libido. He opens his mouth to speak (he's honestly not sure if it's gonna be 'Okay, let's get up before I do something stupid' or 'Hey, want to do something stupid before we get up?'), and then-

_"Attention, attention, all personnel, incoming wounded. All surgical teams report to OR on the double."_

Hawk gives BJ a wry grin. "Saved by the bell."

There's an awkward pause. BJ takes a deep breath. "Time to earn my keep," he says, with a strained smile.

Hawkeye helps him up, then he's on automatic, his response to the PA Pavlovian. He's halfway out the door before he realises BJ isn't following. "BJ?" He crosses back to where BJ is frozen next to the cot and gently grasps his shoulders. "BJ, you okay?"

BJ shakes his head. "I'm not ready for this."

Hawkeye cups BJ's jaw. (His resolution to stop touching BJ is going just  _swimmingly_.) "No one's ever ready for this."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Hawk shrugs. "Well, at least you know everyone else feels the same."

"Huh." BJ frowns. "Thank you. I think."

"I've got your back, okay?" On a whim, Hawkeye leans in and plants a quick, chaste kiss on BJ's lips.

BJ lets out a startled laugh. "What was that for?"

"Luck."

BJ just  _stares_  at him for a moment, then he laughs again, a proper belly laugh, and Hawkeye is doomed. But at least this time, when Hawk plucks at BJ's sleeve and heads for the door, BJ follows.

_~ fin ~_

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Drowning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14299173) by [flootzavut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut)




End file.
